The Krewe of Centaur parade is set to roll this Saturday afternoon in Shreveport. Whatever you do, do not attempt what I did several years ago. Just trust me on this one.

Years ago, I had a miraculous idea. I was talking with a co-worker, and since I could finally could make it tp the parade as an attendee for once, I wanted to go big. So, after throwing around some ideas with my co-worker, we finally landed on the greatest idea… Or so we thought. Thousands of folks in our area attend these parades every year. When it comes to annual events, these parades are simply in a world of their own. However, I wanted to experience the parade from a perspective that no one else could possibly relate to.

I wanted to see the parade from the Duck Pond. No, I’m not talking about near the Duck Pond, or around the Duck Pond, I’m talking about directly in the middle of the Duck Pond. So I ordered the largest inflatable duck I could find and brought along a small cooler.

My friends, this was, without question, the worst decision I’ve ever made in my radio career.

First and foremost, the Duck Pond is insanely disgusting. I’m not kidding when I say this, within an hour of floating on that duck, I quickly became sicker than I’ve ever been in my entire life. To make matters worse, in my infinite wisdom, I made it nearly impossible to make it back to the shore. I threw up off the side of that duck maybe three times. Finally, by the time I managed to pull myself and my duck back to the shore, I was so sick to my stomach that I couldn’t even stay for the actual parade.

Moral of the story, enjoy these parades like everyone else. Do not buy an inflatable duck and ride it on the Duck Pond… It will not end well.